I just came back from a short trip in Phuket, Thailand. It was a great trip with pretty decent massages fr the Thai.
Today I decide to talk more of my feelings towards my psychiatric treatment.
My last part of my Journey in Therapy is still under construction so be patient.
It’s been 3 months of my visits to my Pdoc. Honestly I don’t know what’s my diagnosis. Sometimes, I don’t bother knowing as I feel I know what I’m having difficulties with hence having a diagnosis doesn’t really make a difference. But at this point, I feel the Urgent need to know what the heck I’m going through!
at first, I managed to ask my Pdoc about what are the probable diagnosis/ses. He told me it may be Depression, Bipolar II or BPD.
i thought I would get an answer fr him shortly after that particular session,but unfortunately I didn’t.
I have had 5 appointments with him so far, and already spent 1500+ on medical & consultation fees.
The worst thing is as I just told him in our last session that I was REALLY feeling better, I wanted to taper off the meds and he told me that even so I need to be on them for at least 1/2 a year to 1 year as maintainence treatment.
Sigh.. I realized these few days where I was in Phuket, I find my temper was out of my control. I get heated up easily and I tend to shout at my family.. like real loud. I felt guilty always after the shouting. I don’t know why I seem to be unable to control.
Pdoc lowered my Lamictal dosage fr 50mg to 25mg during my last visit. So I guessed it might be because of that perhaps.
Anyway, tomorrow I hope it will be a great day as I will collect my internship confirmation letter as well as go for a lunch date with a guy friend. I like him but I am not sure if he is right for me.
Hoping that everything goes smoothly tomorrow.
messy me ~