Tag Archives: balance

my plain and simple blog design

egg resilience

What’s with my blog design??

Some may wonder..

I don’t know if you do,

But I always did.

My blog design is simply just plain

One colour, how boring..

Well, in my other public blog which I blog under my real name

It’s colourful, joyful and just full of live!!

I often wonder,

Am I just lazy to experiment some design?

Or is this how my blog should be like?

Then I thought,

The only reason for my plain, boring, one-colour-only blog

Is simply because I just want to

pour all the

struggles . disappointment .  hardship . sucks to the core stuff in here.

It’s a reflection of the difficult and the less difficult days of my life.

And not to forget,

This blog has no intention to attract many visitors

It’s just written to vent, rant amongst all aims

Whoever who happen to drop by,

Thank you .. and I hope you find some encouragement here

If you are facing (I wouldn’t say suffering) something similar to mine

And if you are not,

I hope you are at least aware that there are many people in this world

who are having emotional and / or mental problems

and know that they are not insane, out of their minds or violent in any way

They are not facing what they are facing due to a spiritual impairment or sin

or is it a result of karma.

Probably,

We have different beliefs, spiritual beliefs,

But it doesn’t matter

As I recalled I used to be thinking over and over (called ruminating)

About the illness / condition I have

May it be my depression 2 years back

Or my bipolar currently

But now, as my mood is more stable

I realize (a deep realization) that

Fuck it!  It doesn’t matter!

For it’s not our obligation to tell other people..

Our coworkers / colleagues, employers, friends, relatives, or family members

About our condition.. our mental illness, our label(s)

It is not a must

If you or I do not feel comfortable doing that

then don’t.

It’s your problem / illness / difficulty / condition

It does not require someone else to know it,

For what they can do (if they can empathise)

is just to support.

Dear all

don’t forget

We all have something amazing called RESILIENCE

resilience pink flower

As long we have a strong resiliency

and backed up by determinationresilience wordwe can overcome any adversity

It is being strong

Telling yourself ..

It’s okay if you messed up,

It’s okay if you are feeling depressed now,

for many hours, and unable to get out from that state.

It’s okay if you fail a subject at university

It’s okay if you feel suicidal at this point

It’s okay if you have been abused / raped / bullied  (well it’s not okay)

But whatever it is

If you don’t let it go and move on,

wouldn’t you be stuck in the past, sucked into it, really deep, like a black hole.

It may take time to heal from hurts, it’s okay, you must tell yourself

for in this journey of life,

it’s like a cycle

we are bound to have difficulties along the way

struggles and conflicts (may it be internal or external)

and we will bounce back from adversities,

as long we envision ourselves to get better, have a more balanced life

whatever the wish of yours may be.

Daily

remind yourself of what you truly want in your life

I believe many want happiness,

or simplicity

or wealth…

Sometimes, life can be super mean to some of us

Once, I even thought of doing drugs because I was just so depressed,

and nothing, literally nothing can pull me out from it

of course at that time I was being secretive about my condition

But know that psychedelic drugs can only give you what they call

“temporary pleasures”

the happiness that come from it does not last long

it will be very quick before you notice, you’re hooked

it’s similar to being chased by loan sharks,

it becomes a life of never-ending cycle

of getting high, crashed, needing drugs,

then you’ll do anything to get the money to buy them

Undeniably, many crazy thoughts run through my mind everyday

some may be something like

(warning)

How will I feel when I just run to the middle of the highway?

How does being crushed (literally) feel like? Does it help me escape the reality?

Does it help me finally escape difficulties?

Well, the above is just one of the examples

Just to sum it all,

The only way to cope with symptoms of mental illness(es)

and work towards recovery istrust strength focus

FIRST: Don’t go and care about the ‘BS’ DSM label (they don’t matter)

you know what you’re facing / going through

SECOND: Tell yourself to keep hanging on HoPE!!

you have hope as long as you live on!

THIRD: Give thanks for everyday you live and try to live a balanced Life.

that includes:

  • social life
  • family life
  • interests / hobbies
  • work / academics and
  • exercise, have a balanced & nutritious diet

I was told the last one (balanced life) by a counselor that I saw a few weeks back.

At that moment, I realize that that didn’t even cross my mind

for I was just “enjoying” and “cramming” my time with Work, Work and Work

voluntary work, academics, internship, many extra classes (music, make up, movies) and part time job

I forgot that I needed exercise, social interaction and to be close with my family.

Everything I did was on my own

and that’s it!

I fear interaction because I suspect that other people have ulterior motives

they will hurt me and harm me (physically / emotionally)

these are just a small part of what I deal with

I do hope this piece is helpful to you and speaks some truth of what people with mental illness face.

 dancing in the rain

Till the next time

See ya

Messy Me

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