imageLife is a rocky road..

mood swings are again troubling me..  Just the day before yesterday, I was Crazy happy as an intern, at a local news firm.  I was given an assignment involving research. I spent 4 hours working on it and finally got it done.  Yesterday, I had a music concert to perform in, but I was really unhappy.  Unsure what’s wrong with my moods, but seriously I don’t feel good.

the concert was a huge success, towards the end my mood brighten up.

removing the make up was tedious though.

Today. Was equally a bad day. I feel really upset, sad n disappointed in myself.

i feel I can’t breathe. I feel sick, unwell…

one minute I feel slightly okay, one minute I feel so consumed by depression… I struggle with the inner pain, it consumes my being, my soul felt crushed for the whole situation of being in the whirlpool — of constant suffering.. Mental suffering.

just a while ago, few months back. I thought things will get better and so it did.

I’m afraid.  As I go to work everyday, I fear myself breaking down again.  I seem to be constantly aware of what’s going on inside of me. The emotions, are so obvious yet so difficult to part with.

Not sure of why, I seem to desperately telling other people about my difficulties.. 

Am I trying to seek attention? I don’t know.. But what I know for certain is that these sad, flat feelings and conflicted mind, seems to be repeating over and over again.. When will they end? And if they do end, what will happen to me? Will I change into a totally different person?

it sucks to feel depressed while working, pressured to deliver Work of certain quality and standard. I’m tired, of feeling all these feelings. No one guides me to the help I need although I am already on medications

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