Today I got the doctors’ contacts from the college counseling referral and decided that I should be going for an assessment for my mental health condition. I might need to take medications if I can’t cope. Been struggling throughout the year after the depressive episode in 2012.
After breaking news to my parents, I felt relieved as if I don’t need any help anymore. But at the same time, sadness persist. Thoughts, feelings, internal voices disturbed. I am no longer sure of what or who I am anymore. I am just pretty messed up.. sometimes.
Looking forward to the appointment.. Hopefully can get a place from one of the psychiatrists. I hope things will be fine, I hope I will improve and feel better, think better and be able to prepare for my finals.
I want a change in me, I am tired of the current me, so exhausting…. so depressed.
Today is also the last day of official college classes. I don’t have much time before finals start. I got to make sure I am up for it.
Wish me luck.